Monday 21 March 2011

Back to Normal

Well now my court case is over, which I lost -
I can get back to a more regular posting schedule.

Not that anyone cares but it seems that according
to English Law, I am not allowed to have a girlfriend!

It seems that texting and emailing over 300 messages a
day is not "just keeping in touch" but being an "obsessive".

Sending naked pictures of myself is not "keeping our
love alive" but being "a sex pest".

Breaking into her house and stealing nail clippings,
strands of hair and any other waste products from
the human body is not "keeping a snapshot of our passion"
but being a "pervert".

Standing naked in her garden all night singing Tainted Love
over and over until my throat bleeds is not "pouring out my
love in a pleasing melodic manner" but is "being a public menace
and breaking many privacy laws".

And most amazing of all, "following her everywhere she goes to
make sure of her safety" is now called "stalking".

All I am doing is falling in love and being penalised by some
outdated laws.

Any way, the upshot is that I cannot come within 10 miles of Kylie
and when she comes to London I will have to wear an electronic ankle

The judge told me her sister is fair game but I cannot be bothered

Should have more time for posting though!