Monday 18 April 2011

Half Term

These are the sort of scenes that will greet me this week
as I take my daughter out in her half term holiday.

Huge, endless queues for whatever crazed attraction
has taken her fancy.

But before all that, I need to make her catch up on
some of her school work.

With all the cuts that this government is forcing
onto the education system, there appear to be some
shocking and glaring gaps in her current leaning curve.

She cannot tell the difference between "Master of Puppets"
and "And Justice For All"!

She refuses to listen to Bon Scott era AC/DC!

She thinks "Grinderman" will never be as good
as "The Bad Seeds"!

Even after making her stand in the rain all night, she
still cannot tell me the correct running order for The
Ramones double album "It's Alive"!

She is now starting to doubt my claim that I invented
Punk - even though I have showed her doctored press
cuttings and taken her to meet various members of the
Sex Pistols to back up my story. Of course they were not
the real Pistols but the tramps who live under Waterloo
Bridge who will do most things for 12 cans of Special
Brew ........ as well as lying to young children, they will
also fight each other, dance until they pass out and perform
in snuff movies. Oh, how they made me chuckle!

Now you can see how the education system has let her down.

Dreadful shocking, ain't it.

I mean, children are our future ...... I really mean that .....
after all, it is the kids in junior school that I sold all the
heroin to. I now know I was wrong in doing that and have

The initial outlay is very expensive and it takes ages to put it
into those tiny little bags!

Instead, I am now making loads of cash selling fake, photoshopped
nude pictures of Justin Bibier to teenage girls. Much cheaper overheads
and almost, virtually legal!


  1. Teach her the ways Tony. It must be done. You should set up a tracksuit exclusion zone, daughters friends included.

  2. Good!
    Remember when smack was for rockstars?