Friday, 29 April 2011

Comeback Kid - Symptons + Cures (2010)

Melodic hardcore from the States.

Nothing ground breaking but a very good mix
of solid, heavy guitar riffs and gruff vocals, all
wrapped up with sharp, fast songs that have
good hooklines to them........

and some days, that is all I need!

I suppose if I had to compare them - only so you,
my faithful download monkeys, do not have to think
too much - if you like Alexisonfire, give this a listen.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

New Race - The First and The Last (1981)

Wet dream fanboy time for Deniz Tek, from Radio

Radio Birdman were a great Aussie band who
channeled the Detroit proto-punk sound into
high energy, snotty rock'n'roll.

In 1981 he contacted Ron Asheton and Dennis
Thompson to form a one off, live touring band
and this live album is a document from that event.

The set is mainly Radio Birdman songs, with one
original "Columbia" but The Stooges get a look in
with a version of "Loose", the MC5 songs "Gotta
Keep Movin'" and "Looking at You" are thrashed out
and there is also a fantastic version of the Destroy All
Monsters classic "November 22nd, 1963" which is a
revelation with male vocals.

This is fast, raw sweaty stuff.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Poly Styrene- RIP

Poly Styrene lost her battle against cancer yesterday.

Although she kinda fell off my radar after X-Ray Spex
folded, for a brief time in my punk infancy, she provided
a neon burst of colour and humour in a movement that
could disappear up it's own arse with "this is how punk
should sound"!

Backstage, she would chat to anyone who came up to her
and just seemed to enjoy life.

Give "Germ Free Adolescents" a listen, worth it just for the
explosive, sax driven anthem "The Day the World Turned Dayglo"

Gholas - Загадка (2010)

Heavy post-sludge metal from New jersey, USA.

You either like this sort of stuff or don't.

Violent, crusty, thick-sounding, eardrum blowing stuff.

Hey, if I thought it wasn't any good, it would not be here!

Friday, 22 April 2011

Poems i did Wrote

Many years ago, in the days when hope
and joy had not been replaced with crushing
despair and deadness of my soul, Ruptured
Dog used to put on their own gigs.

One night a support band dropped out and
I decided to read some poems out ........
which were all about dead rock stars.

Finding the scraps of paper I did wrote
them on, I decided to let you, my faithful
download monkeys partake in my heart
rendered outpourings.

Brian Jones
Oh, Brian Jones
You were in the Rolling Stones
You thought that you
were onto a winner
turns out you were a very poor swimmer.

Jim Morrison
Oh, Jim Morrison
You were in a band called the Doors
turns out you were not much cop at swimming either.

Elvis Presley
Oh, Elvis Presley
You were called the King
You stuffed your face
went for a crap
and died when you were

John Lennon
Oh, John Lennon
Your death was planned all along
You paid Mark Chapman
to gun you down
So you would not have to hear another Yoko song.

Kurt Cobain
Oh, Kurt Cobain
Your death was a tragedy
but I think you are a wanker
because I had tickets to see you play
at Brixton Academy.

This was about a week after he had died -
man, the booing was loud that night!

The abuse I got was almost as bad as the time
R Dog starting playing gigs with a robot guitar
player that I did build.

de-tuned guitars and screwdrivers in the fretboard.....
our rhythm guitar player left and I replaced them
with a robot!

If anyone would like this option, please follow the
handy instructions below:

Place guitar on stand.

Find a old toy car - battery operated- and gaffa
tape it to the body, near the strings.

Glue a piece of electrical flex to the wheel, so when
turned on, the wheel can spin around, making the wire
hit the guitar strings at a constant speed.

Tune guitar to an open "E" chord.

Plug into a fuzzbox.

Plug into amplifier, making sure it the feedback is
at bowel loosening volume.

Mike up to the PA system.

All set to go!

Watch people start to leave the room as they realise
that you intend to leave it on for 35 minutes!

Thursday, 21 April 2011

UK Subs - Endangered Species (1982)

Although I have a soft spot for "Another Kind of Blues",
this, the 5th Subs album, has all the elements to make
this one of their best.

The tinny sounding, weakish production of previous
recordings are left behind as Charlie and the boys
crank it up.

Solid, pounding drums and bass anchor songs down
and the guitar has never sounded this heavy or with
as much economic, fast solos.

This sounds like a band who want to capture the
live sound and have the chops to deliver.

There is also a departure in some of the song tempos
- slower riffs, minimal playing + a couple of vocals
from the bass player which help in getting away from
many of the songs sounding similar.

Many more good albums would emerge but for a
yobbish good time, this is hard to beat.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

The Strolling Bones - Love In Vain (1972)

Live from Fort Worth, Philadelphia 1972, this is
the Stones at their very best.

The quality is not quite as good as "Get Yer Ya Ya's
Out" but still a very good soundboard recording.

Showcasing songs from the new "Exile on Main Street",
there is also all the other classics you would want to hear.

This album showcases Mick Taylor as never before.
Mixed right up, the interaction with Richards has a
ferocious edge that was sometimes missing from studio

Jagger is on top form as well, never reverting to his vocal
pastiche that would creep in, many years later - here, his
voice has a desperate quality that shows how long their
USA tours lasted.

If you ever wondered how the Stones got the tag of
"Greatest Rock'n'Roll Band in The World" - listen.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011


This was the best cover I could find!

Anyway, this collection from 1973 has a good
cross section of hits, b-sides and album tracks.

Take away the outlandish clothes and the Dave
Hill fetish for over-the-top hair styles and guitars
and you are left with classic hard rock songs that
are tuneful, never overstay their welcome, with
short bursts of economical Berry/Richards soloing,
a pounding rhythm section and one of the best raw
British vocalists since Lennon.

Perfect driving music.

Monday, 18 April 2011

Half Term

These are the sort of scenes that will greet me this week
as I take my daughter out in her half term holiday.

Huge, endless queues for whatever crazed attraction
has taken her fancy.

But before all that, I need to make her catch up on
some of her school work.

With all the cuts that this government is forcing
onto the education system, there appear to be some
shocking and glaring gaps in her current leaning curve.

She cannot tell the difference between "Master of Puppets"
and "And Justice For All"!

She refuses to listen to Bon Scott era AC/DC!

She thinks "Grinderman" will never be as good
as "The Bad Seeds"!

Even after making her stand in the rain all night, she
still cannot tell me the correct running order for The
Ramones double album "It's Alive"!

She is now starting to doubt my claim that I invented
Punk - even though I have showed her doctored press
cuttings and taken her to meet various members of the
Sex Pistols to back up my story. Of course they were not
the real Pistols but the tramps who live under Waterloo
Bridge who will do most things for 12 cans of Special
Brew ........ as well as lying to young children, they will
also fight each other, dance until they pass out and perform
in snuff movies. Oh, how they made me chuckle!

Now you can see how the education system has let her down.

Dreadful shocking, ain't it.

I mean, children are our future ...... I really mean that .....
after all, it is the kids in junior school that I sold all the
heroin to. I now know I was wrong in doing that and have

The initial outlay is very expensive and it takes ages to put it
into those tiny little bags!

Instead, I am now making loads of cash selling fake, photoshopped
nude pictures of Justin Bibier to teenage girls. Much cheaper overheads
and almost, virtually legal!

Friday, 15 April 2011

Envy - Recitation (2010)

Japanese post-rock, hardcore and post-metal
which sounds a mess but Envy pull it off brilliantly.

Other bands have done this since - loud/quiet/
screaming but it mainly comes across as a metalcore
type barrage of white noise with no pacing or structure
which I find pretty boring.

Using the epic structures of post-rock and the heaviness
of post-metal, the songs have a fragile beauty which
would not be out of place on a "Mono" album before
exploding into utter brutality.

Piano and what sounds like violins add a depth to
everything but this does not detract from the fact
that this album becomes very heavy indeed.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Litany For The Whale - Dolores (2009)

Some really excellent crusty hardcore here with
a healthy touch of noise rock as well.

The intro starts with what sounds like a piano
being thrown down some stairs before the pounding
songs start being played.

There is a hint of sludge in the solid dense sound
but never strays from hardcore.

The small instrumental interludes do not break
up the flow but rather act as beginnings for
the heavier tracks.

The album has quite a short running time but
I think any more tracks would possibly spoil what
is on show here - a very accomplished record.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Zu - Carboniferous (2009)

Some serious sounding shit from this Italian
3 piece.

The proper description would be Avante-garde
free jazz but there is a glorious mix of math-rock,
punk, metal, noise - the mostly instrumental songs
are as epic and brutal as this sort of stuff can get.

Drums, bass and sax are not supposed to sound
like this - what appears to be a sax riff is put
through fuck knows what effect but comes at you
like a thick, meaty Melvins riff.

Electronic noise hisses out the speakers as the
wild sounding songs get more frantic and deranged,
the band is pounding away and just when you think
you know what is coming next, the next assault of
genres is starting.

Heavy, varied jazz noise stuff - Listen

Monday, 11 April 2011

Electric Eels - The Eyeball of Hell (1975-76)

Proto punk from 1975 - 76, the Electric Eels took
the blueprint of '60's fuzz garage and the attitude
and song writing of The Stooges 1st album to
produce these 2 minutes tunes of distortion and

Raw fuzz guitar mixed up to ear-numbing levels
with primitive bass and drum, snotty vocals that
can just about hold the tune, to hear this in '75
must of been a shock to a world listening to Abba
and the Average White Band!

Please note that I said "the attitude and song writing
of The Stooges" - you know what this means, right?

This does not mean they are "the undiscovered Stooges"
or are indeed "the NEW Stooges" - there is only one band
and will only ever be one band that have that name.

The same goes for reviews that cannot make the difference
between being influenced by Hendrix and "being" the new
Hendrix - there is only one person and .....blah, blah, blah
- I am sure that every one can produce a list of names that
this applies to.

Lecture over, play some Electric Eeels.

Krallice - Dimensional Bleedthrough (2009)

I should not like this.

BM is not really something I dig but:

The vocals are not quite like a cement mixer being
close-miked - more like a very heavy post-metal
grunting delivery.

They do not appear to be dressed in scary clothes or
have skull makeup on.

This sounds much cleaner then trad BM.

The long songs have some pretty dynamic structures
and almost progressive metal influences.

Slabs of riffs and repetitive chords which are fucking
heavy but do not just exist to be bleak passages - if
you make your brain squint hard, there tunes of sorts
hiding in the mix!

This sounds almost as if "Mouth of the Architects" have
decided to make an experimental BM album.

So, I like it ............ but do not know enough about the
genre to know if any the above makes any sense but, hey -
don't take my word for it - Listen

Friday, 8 April 2011

Greg Ginn - Getting Even (1993)

Ex Black Flag deranged guitarist Greg Ginn has
produced an amazing amount of solo projects
and this is one of his finest efforts.

Playing everything apart from drums, this has all
his trademark bruising jazz-punk riffs and solos
exploding in every song.

Unlike some of his more jam type albums, most
of these songs are around the 3 minute mark. His
vocals are right back in the mix which gives things
an almost ghostly shouted presence.

Aggressive tunes which rumble along with a solid
backing, you can almost hear the strings on his
guitar start to come apart with the furious, crazed
notes being torn out from musical scales that I did
not know existed!

Anyone with an interest in the Flags "Family Man"
or "Process of Weeding Out" should give this a play.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

The Birthday Party - Junkyard (1983)

Messed up post-punk with a healthy dose of noise.

Short, sharp songs with Cave in full shouty mode, this
is one hell of a racket.

In '82/'83, the term "Punk" had really been taken over
by the mainstream record companys as anyone who wore
a pair of shades or owned a leather jacket.

You had to go under the radar to get or see anything with
some anger and noise - The Birthday Party and Black Flag
started to produce albums that I would use as a yardstick
to judge against.

Essential - Listen

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Frank Zappa - The Illinois Enema Bandit

Frank Zappa and The Illinois Enema Bandit!

This song has always made me chuckle - but for those Zappa followers who have always wondered about the events that lead to his song “The Illinois Enema Bandit” .. read on!

First, the story in the words of Frank.

“This is a true story

About a famous criminal

From right around Chicago

This is the story of Michael Kenyon

A man who’s serving time at this very moment

For the crime of armed robbery

It so happened, that at the time of the robbery

Michael, decided to give his female victims

A little enema

Apparently, there was no law against that

But his name lives on

Michael Kenyon


The Illinois Enema Bandit

I heard he’s on the loose

I heard he’s on the loose

Lord, the pitiful screams

Of all them college-educated women...

Boy, he’d just be tyin’ ‘em up

(They’d be all bound down!)

Just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag fulla

The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

He just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag

fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

He just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag

fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

He just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag

fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

The Illinois Enema Bandit

I heard it on the news

I heard it on the news

Bloomington Illinois...he has caused some alarm

Just sneakin’ around there

From farm to farm

Got a rubberized bag

And a hose on his arm

Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump

That he just might wanna pump

Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump

That he just might wanna pump

Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump

That he just might wanna pump

The Illinois Enema Bandit

One day he’ll have to pay

One day he’ll have to pay

The police will say, “You’re under arrest!”

And the judge would have him for a special guest

The D.A. will order a secret test

And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest

Then they’ll put out a call for the jury folks

And the judge would say, “No poo-poo jokes!”

Then they’ll drag in the bandit for all to see,

Sayin’ “Don’t nobody have no sympathy...


And then the bandit might say, “Why is everybody looking’ at me?”




Now, one girl shout: “Let the Bandit be!”




Another girl shout: “Let the fiend go free!”


The Bandit say, “It must be just what they all needs...”

“It must be just what they all needs...”

“It must be just what they all needs...”

“It must be just what they all needs...”

“It must be just what they all needs...”

“It must be just what they all needs...”

etc. repeat

Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enema



Lyrics copyright. Frank Zappa.

I then dug around in the dirty world of the 'net and came up with the

following interviews!

From: BBC-TV interview by Nigel Leigh

As was cited by Neil Slaven Zappa. Electric Don Quixote p.189

“FZ: I actually heard about it on the radio. We were returning from a job in Nornal, Illinois and had the radio on in the sation wagon. The announcer said, “The Illinois Enema Bandit” has struck again’, and I went, “What!” Apparently, this guy had been ravaging the area of Southern Illinois for a number of years. He would find a co-ed’s apartement with the door unlocked and he would walk in with a ski mask on and I guess a revolver, and force the woman to experience a severe internal rinse at gunpoint


Many of the things that I’ve written have been true stories in song about onscure people who did obscure things, and the function in the same folk music tradition except that it’s been performed on electric instruments” [To Frank, Michael Kenyon’s anal obsession was “ the chance to do a folk song, especially since we were playing a lot of jobs in the Midwest. He’s like a household name here, he should have a song.”

News clipping inside album

Michael H. Kenyon, 30, the suspected enema bandit who terrorized coeds at the University of Illinois for 10 years, has pleaded guilty in Urbana, Ill., to six counts of armed robbery. He has administered enemas to woman victims in at least three of the six robberies.

From: “D.G. Porter” (

I heard some years ago that a guy was waiting in the unemployment office, and he heard the name “Michael Kenyon” called out, and it was the guy sitting next to him, and he asked the guy if he’d ever heard of someone named Frank Zappa, and the guy bolted from his seat right out of the building.

From: Richard C Williams (

At the time it happened, Bob Dylans’ Ballad of Hurricane Carter was popular on the radio, and Frank figured if Dylan could write a song about an accused murderer, then he would write one about an accused Enema Bandit

From: (DrStephens)

For all those who love FZÒs song about the Illinois Enema Bandit, I thought you would be interested in this update which appears in the current issue (number 79) of the _Fortean Times: The Journal of Strange Phenomena_ on page 7. They reference the information appearing in this article as coming from the Associated Press (5 April 1975) and correspondence with former FBI agent John Finley.

The chronicles of crime feature few more desperate characters than Michael Kenyon, a petty criminal who forcibly administered enemas to at least two dozen victims, mostly female students, between 1965 and 1975. Face hidden behind a ski mask, he would break into a woman’s room, tie her up and get to work with his rubber tubing. Part of his ritual was to steal a single item from each victim; then, leaving the student trussed and terrified, he would sometimes phone the police to boast about his crime.

The Enema Bandit first struck while studying at the University of Illinois. Kenvon committed a dozen assaults between 1965 and 1969 before graduating with a degree in accountancy. From college he joined the army, before taking to cleaning people out for a living as an employee of the Intemal Revenue Service. As he was posted around the country enema attacks occurred in Los Angeles, Manhattan (Kansas) and Norman, Oklahoma. On one occasion he administered an enema to a girl in a train travelling to Florida.

By May 1974, the Bandit was back on home turf, attacking several University of Illinois co-eds in a single night. The police made little headway in tracing the culprit until Kenyon was arrested in connection with two robberies near Champaign, Illinois, in April 1975. Someone noticed that the method of breaking and entering was identical to that of the Enema Bandit and Kenyon was charged with armed robbery and battery. He served six years in prison and was paroled in 1981.

Former FBI agent John Finley, who researched the case for FT, notes that Kenyon was a subscriber to Enema Digest, a specialist magazine for devotees of water sports. There is no record of further enema assaults since 1981.

I have searched the ‘net for any further info on Kenyon (even on the FBI homepage!!) but he seems to have vanished after his parole in 1981 ... no suprise there!

Well, I hope that has cleared things up!! Once again, you, my faithful download monkeys

have learnt from my wisdom.

And to round things off - this would not be complete without the actual song

Monday, 4 April 2011

Antisect - In Darkness, There Is No Choice (1983)

Anarcho punk band that also got credited as
being at the forefront of 'crust'.

Don't get mislead by these tags though, there
were lots of thrash/punk on show here as well.

These boys could play - ambient starts to songs
before blasting out the speakers, solos mixed
down behind the rhythm section - almost if
they are trying to hide how good they are! -
samples, spoken word tracks and a much more
varied song structure that normally applies to
this genre.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Fall of Efrafa - Elil (2007)

Some epic post-metal here. 3 tracks all over
20 minutes long which deliver some crushingly
heavy vibes.

Bass heavy riffs, distorted guitars and thunderous
drumming all mix up with bursts of accoustic
passages, spoken word samples and lots of
different atmospheric textures.

The tracks have a natural progression to them
and do not feel like shorter songs tacked together.

If you like post-metal, this is very good indeed.

If you do not like it, steer clear - this hurts!