Wednesday, 19 February 2014

God, Scam Emails & Jimmy Savile

(Just before I start this tale of madness, for the benefit
of any readers outside the UK, Jimmy Savile was in the
media and after he died in 2011 was found out to be a
serial paedophile)

Yesterday I found on my email a begging letter - I decided
to see how far I could take it before the scammers gave up!
Read on ..............

Them - 
"Hello, Sorry for the inconveniences, I am in Limassol, Cyprus. 
I am here for a Conference and I just had my bag stolen at the Bus 
station. It contains all my vital items, phone, money and passport. I 
have been trying to sort things out, I need some assistance from you. 
     Thanks - Sarah."

Well, how could I refuse that plea from a random stranger?

Me - 
"Of course I can help - keep faith with The Almighty, for he 
is the Redeemer and Saviour."

"Thank you so much. There is a western union money transfer 
shop here, Please can you send me some money right now I will 
refund as soon as I get home. Please let me know so I could send 
you my details. I appreciate. Thanks, Sarah"

So I can send money to a Western Union store - sounds great
to me! I will also continue on the God theme.

"Praise be to Jesus, our Saviour.
What do I do next?"

 "I need to borrow about 650euros, I will refund as soon as I get home, See my details needed for transfer below. I have a valid id on me and I will also be getting a temporary passport form the embassy. 
Name on the ID: Sarah Robert 
Address: 316 Ayiou Andreou Street Limassol, Cyprus.
You will need to email me the reference number, senders name and address as it's stated on the payment slip as soon as you make the transfer so I can receive the money here."

Well, she does say she will pay me back - must be ok then! Time
to lay the bollocks on thick and fast.

"My savings only come to about 570euros - will this be sufficient?

My Pastor - Father James Savile preaches that all who follow his 
teachings shall get what they deserve. When I send the money, would 
you try to follow Father Savile's works if needed?"

 "Okay no problem, Thank you so much. I will take a look at his works again. "

So, my savings will be enough and they will follow the works
of a sex pervert. Time to get serious. With the help of a scam-buster
site, I got hold of a blurry Western Union slip and a fake collection number
to give them ...... plus words of wisdom from the Bible.

"Bless you for following Father Savile. May you and your children get to meet him one day.

I do not know how to work my scanner very well, so it has not come out clearly but the reference number is 3804117256."

Eziah: Psalm 69 - "And the Ass shall lay down with the Angels and 
he spake unto about the bountiful fruits of Gods Creation and shewed 
his plums which were full of Gods seed and milky goodness and then 
shewed his purple Rod of Adam which would grow larger as The 
Baby Jesus would lay his hands upon it and his Holy Love would 
then become The Staff of Plenty for which he could bless all the tiny children"

  "Okay. Thank you so much."

The last bit did not raise any questions?

"Hello, the reference number does not seem to be correct"

"Sorry, I have copied it down incorrectly, it should be 3804127256"

"Hello, the reference number still does not seem to be correct"

"Sorry, I have copied it down incorrectly, it should be 3804137256"

Alas, all my help was thrown back in my face as I have not heard
from Sarah Roberts again. Next ..... I have been left $2,000,000 by
a Nigerian diplomat....... hurrah!


  1. Hehehe! Yeah, get them! Get them all!!

  2. Awesome. "May you and YOUR CHILDREN get to meet him one day", hahaha!