Monday 27 December 2010

Xmas Posting

My faithful download monkeys -
my posts will be sparse over the
next couple of weeks.

Now the kids are on holiday,
I can no longer make my money
selling drugs to school children
in the local parks.

I will be building up stocks by
stealing morphine drips from
all the terminally ill patients
in the Greater London area
but this all takes time and effort.

I will try to do a couple to satisfy
the BIL craving but cannot promise
too much.

I suppose you will be dreaming of your
ideal christmas present ..... the chance to
talk to a real girl/woman rather than your
cyber porn avatar.

Well, good news. I was in the final planing
stage of my ideal sniper spot - when I go, I'm
gonna take a lot of people with me - when a
parcel arrived ........ my prototype "Groin
Glove" for the X Box.

No more tossing off to Lara Croft and a box
of kleenex by your side. No, siree....

Slip over your "weapon of destruction" - you
can of course use your own nickname - when
secure and snug, activate the pressure nodes,
plug the USB end into your games console, set
the dial to full "Splurge" and away you go.

Within minutes, I was wiping steaming droplets
of Man Gravy from my monitor.

Just wish I had used the Tomb Raider game - I
felt a slight flush of shame as the burly plumber
from Mario leered at me.

See ya on the other side.

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