Xmas Posting

My faithful download monkeys -

my posts will be sparse over the

next couple of weeks.

Now the kids are on holiday,

I can no longer make my money

selling drugs to school children

in the local parks.

I will be building up stocks by

stealing morphine drips from

all the terminally ill patients

in the Greater London area

but this all takes time and effort.

I will try to do a couple to satisfy

the BIL craving but cannot promise

too much.

I suppose you will be dreaming of your

ideal christmas present ..... the chance to

talk to a real girl/woman rather than your

cyber porn avatar.

Well, good news. I was in the final planing

stage of my ideal sniper spot - when I go, I'm

gonna take a lot of people with me - when a

parcel arrived ........ my prototype "Groin

Glove" for the X Box.

No more tossing off to Lara Croft and a box

of kleenex by your side. No, siree....

Slip over your "weapon of destruction" - you

can of course use your own nickname - when

secure and snug, activate the pressure nodes,

plug the USB end into your games console, set

the dial to full "Splurge" and away you go.

Within minutes, I was wiping steaming droplets

of Man Gravy from my monitor.

Just wish I had used the Tomb Raider game - I

felt a slight flush of shame as the burly plumber

from Mario leered at me.

See ya on the other side.